By Diana Darae Woo, HRNK Research Intern
Edited by Raymond Ha (Director of Operations & Research) and Rick Herssevoort (International Outreach Associate)

Since the establishment of the DMZ on the Korean Peninsula, experts, policymakers, and scholars have strived to deepen global understanding of North Korea’s internal dynamics. Their collective efforts shape our knowledge of the pariah state. Although interest in North Korea fluctuates depending on shifts in global priorities, geopolitical events, diplomatic developments, and media coverage, it is imperative to expose the Kim family’s repressive, authoritarian rule as the North Korean people continue to bear the brunt of the country’s isolation and heinous human rights violations.
 
Beyond Utopia sheds light on the experiences of the North Korean people, following the Roh family’s escape from North Korea and Lee So-yeon’s attempt to rescue her son.[1] Their testimonies reveal the harrowing experiences North Koreans continue to endure today. Providing rare and valuable footage of the perilous trek North Korean escapees take to escape the Kim regime, Beyond Utopia is a timely and important call to remember the ongoing and egregious suffering of the North Korean people.

 
Exile List
 
As the documentary begins, the Roh family find themselves stranded in a tent, still near the North Korean border in China. They make an urgent rescue request to Pastor Kim Sung-eun in South Korea. Nearly 4,000 kilometers lie ahead for them to be able to reach South Korea through China, Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand. They are some of many on Kim Jong-un’s “banishing list,” a fear-and-control tactic used to target and punish relatives of escapees.
 
The consequences include being exiled to prison camps in the remote, mountains regions of North Korea, where they may be subject to forced labor, torture, arbitrary punishment, malnutrition, and other inconceivably harsh conditions. As such, they walk with cyanide capsules in their pockets. For the Roh family, including their two young daughters and 80-year-old grandmother, seeking freedom is the only remaining choice.
 
The Roh family’s escape, as assisted by Pastor Kim, is clear evidence of the lack of protections available for North Korean escapees and the risky business the broker network has become. Even while crossing the mountains of Vietnam in the dark of the night, human greed creeps in. A lead broker walks the family and Pastor Kim in circles, refusing to take them across unless they fork over a higher sum of money. There is little regard for the family who is risking it all. In this concealed industry, currency comes before the sanctity of human life.
 

Broker Network
 
Lee So-yeon’s story also represents the risk and despair North Korean escapees must endure, even for the simple hope of being together as a family. The whereabouts of Lee’s son, Cheong, who attempted to leave North Korea to meet his mother, are unknown. In the months after Cheong is captured near the North Korean border, Lee So-yeon’s only option to obtain the slightest bit of information on her son is to bribe and rely on a network of brokers. Wiring sums of money on multiple occasions does not guarantee clear information. She takes several phone calls with different brokers, who are only able to provide unreliable information. She also receives criticism for prompting her son to make the dangerous journey. Finally, she receives the gut-wrenching news that her son has been severely tortured, with little to no hope of release. There is no bribe, no connection, no NGO, no religion, no country, and no utopia that can rescue her son from the horrors of the North Korean regime’s systematic punishment of forcibly repatriated escapees.

 
Family and Freedom
 
Beyond Utopia pulls back the curtains and brings viewers closer to the North Korean people. Within the film’s frames are the North Korean people’s unbounded human spirit and determination to reach freedom. Even while risking it all, the Roh family’s sense of unity shines through. Between going in and out of safe houses in unfamiliar and potentially dangerous countries, they share meals, laugh, sing, cry, and also grieve for not being able to bring their dog, Bobo, with them. They express deep sympathy and sorrow for their friends and family who are still in North Korea.
 
We also learn firsthand how families are forcibly separated as a consequence of the Kim regime’s human rights violations. The senselessness of her son’s capture and knowing that her elderly mother is now under constant surveillance bring tears to Lee So-yeon’s eyes. She is a North Korean escapee, but more importantly, she is a daughter and a mother. Living in the comforts of a free, democratic country means little as she realizes that she is unable to rescue her son or meet with her mother ever again. She is left heartbroken, in despair, and in guilt, unable to repair her family.


Conclusion
 
More than anything, Beyond Utopia illuminates the personal stories of North Koreans, emphasizing the significance of hearing and seeing directly from North Koreans themselves. Through their own words and lived experiences, the plight of the North Korean people is brought to the forefront of the conversation surrounding the precarious puzzle that is North Korea. As audience members, we must remember that the Kim regime’s severe human rights abuses deserve as much attention as its development of nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles. As a global community, we should look beyond great-power competition and geopolitical dynamics to advocate for the human rights of the North Korean people. As fellow human beings, we must remember that North Koreans, too, seek and deserve the opportunity to pursue happiness—the small, blissful moments of living freely with family and friends.
 
Diana Darae Woo is a recent graduate of Northeastern University's M.S. in Global Studies and International Relations program. In October 2023, she began interning at HRNK to pursue her passion for international human rights. 
 
[1] Beyond Utopia. [Film] Directed by: Madeleine Gavin. USA: Ideal Partners, 19340 Productions, XRM Media, Random Good Foundation, Two Chairs Films, Human Rights Foundation; 2023.

By Abbigail Thacker, former HRNK Research Intern
Edited by Raymond Ha (Director of Operations & Research) and Damian Reddy (Legal Counsel & Project Development Associate)

Article 16.3 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) declares that “the family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.”[1] The International Covenant for Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights (ICESCR) also states in Article 10.1 that “the widest possible protection and assistance should be accorded to the family, which is the natural and fundamental group unit of society.”[2]
 
Similarly, the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) notes in its preamble that “the family, as the fundamental group of society and the natural environment for the growth and well-being of all its members and particularly children, should be afforded…necessary protection and assistance.”[3] The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR) states in Article 24.1 that “every child shall have, without any discrimination…the right to such measures of protection as are required by his status as a minor, on the part of his family, society and the State.”[4] The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) further states in Article 16.1 that states must “eliminate discrimination against women in all matters relating to marriage and family relations.”
 
North Korea is a party to all of these treaties and conventions. Article 78 of its constitution states that “marriage and the family shall be protected by the state. The State pays great attention to consolidating the family, the basic unit of social life.”[5] However, family life continues to suffer under the Kim Jong-un regime. This article examines norms surrounding marriage and family life in North Korea, as understood through escapee testimony. It also analyzes how political practices affect family life in North Korea and identifies relevant human rights violations.

​
Marriage and Family Norms in North Korea
 
Dating in North Korea
 
According to a North Korean escapee interviewed for this article, dating is still very taboo, and it is embarrassing for couples if someone discovers the relationship.[6] Another escapee noted that “dating culture in North Korea varies across the country,” although most teenagers will wait to date until their second or third year in high school.[7]
 
Public displays of affection (PDA) are almost nonexistent in dating relationships. Pre-marital relationships are very private and often include no physical intimacy beyond holding hands. This aversion to PDA could be due in part to the taboo on dating. Hyeonseo Lee wrote of her dating experience in North Korea as follows—“like any other boyfriend and girlfriend in North Korea of this age, we did not even kiss. Holding hands was as far as it went. Even then we were discreet.”[8]
 
The lack of sex education could help explain the lack of PDA. Escapee #1 reported that there was no sex education, and teenagers feared that even holding hands could result in an unwanted pregnancy. Hyeonseo Lee notes that “for all its interference in our lives, the Party was extraordinarily bashful when it came to telling us how life itself was made.”[9]
 
A final factor influencing limited affection in relationships between young North Koreans is the fear of ruining future marriage opportunities. Hyeonseo Lee writes that dating was “quite a serious matter, because when word gets out that a girl has been dating it’s not easy for her to find another match.”[10] When arranging marriages, the social standing of both parties is scrutinized, and past dating history can be a disadvantage.
 
Dating in North Korea is limited to casual relationships before marriage. North Korea’s domestic law does not protect or recognize unwed couples who live together. According to a May 2023 report, “North Korea is sending unwed couples who are living together to serve time in labor camps, saying they are poisoning the country’s socialist society.”[11] This reinforces long-held beliefs that intimacy outside of marriage is morally wrong and, in the case of North Korea, a criminal offense. This limits the kind of relationships that North Koreans can have. “The crackdown on [these] couples is part of a larger effort by the government to eliminate “capitalist” or “anti-socialist” culture from infiltrating society, with increasingly harsh consequences for activities that the government deems to be unbecoming of a loyal citizen.”[12]

Marriage in North Korea
 
Marriage is considered important in North Korea. Escapee #2 reported that it is taboo to be an old bachelor, and staying single for long could result in an arranged marriage:
 
Marriages in North Korea can be born out of love or arranged. Those who choose to marry after a dating period typically do so out of mutual affection. Conversely, arranged marriages do not involve a dating phase, with marriage ensuing shortly after a few family meetings and brief encounters between the prospective couple. In my experience, the occurrences of both types of marriage are about even.

Of arranged marriages, Hyeonseo Lee writes that “financial security came first. With luck, the couple could fall in love after the marriage.”[13]
 
Every North Korean couple must first register their marriage with the authorities. The wedding ceremony itself is simple. The couple will go to each family’s house and hold a small gathering. The two families do not spend an extended amount of time together. Pictures are taken, often in front of statues of past and present Supreme Leaders. According to one account,
 
There are no Juche clergy to preside over weddings or funerals. When a couple marries, they both swear their loyalty to Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il. After the brief wedding ceremony, the newly-weds are expected to visit a nearby statue of Kim Il Sung, place some flowers in front of it, and then have their picture taken with the statue in the background.[14]

Past Supreme Leaders influence more than just wedding pictures. A couple “cannot walk down the aisle on 15 April or 16 February, the birthdays of the former leaders.”[15] This is all to demonstrate “that however much a couple might love each other their love for the Fatherly Leader was greater.”[16]
 
North Korea has strong patriarchal norms. This directly affects the situation of women’s rights, including that of married women. “The prevailing notion of male dominance and traditional patriarchal practices lead to domestic violence, especially when husbands believe that their wives are not respecting or obeying them.”[17] In addition, “even if witnesses or victims of domestic violence report it to the police, the police completely disregard the case and send them back home.”[18] By doing so, the state perpetuates domestic violence. Women’s status in North Korea has improved recently, as they have taken a more active role in markets,[19] but patriarchal norms remain prevalent in North Korea.[20]

Divorce in North Korea
 
Divorces are relatively uncommon in North Korea. According to escapee #2,
 
Divorce in North Korea requires a court decision, and mutual agreement is not a viable method for divorce. Due to the strict criteria for divorce and the complex proceedings, the divorce rate is relatively low. Moreover, the societal stigma attached to divorce, especially for women, makes it a difficult choice. Divorced individuals are issued a new ID card marked with the ‘divorce’ label, perpetuating the stigma.
 
Married women with children may be subject to discrimination if they undergo a divorce. Writing of her own mother’s divorce, Hyeonseo Lee says that “a divorced daughter was shameful enough, but a divorced daughter with a baby on her back would make her chances of making a successful match with someone else almost impossible.”[21]
 
Extramarital affairs are one of the few circumstances that could lead to divorce. According to escapee #2, while extramarital affairs are uncommon in North Korea, they do occur, especially among high-status individuals whose social standing protects them from “significant repercussions.” For those who have an affair but do not have high social status, they not only face divorce, but also criminal punishment.

Children in North Korea           
 
As in many other societies, “men and women in North Korea are expected to get married and have children.”[22] North Korean women who have many children are given special privileges in society and are regarded as maternal heroes.[23]
 
However, escapee #1 reported that the average family in North Korea will only have one or two children due to economic difficulties. Providing for a child in North Korea is difficult not just due to food and living expenses, but also because of education expenses. Escapee #2 shared that, “affluent families, particularly in urban areas, often hire tutors and invest considerably in their children’s academic performance. They strive to enroll their children in top-tier schools like the ‘First High School’ or prestigious universities.” Even if families do not spend extra money on a child’s education, school in North Korea is not free. “Parents are perpetually being given quotas for donations of goods, which the school sells to pay for facilities,” Lee recalls.[24]
 
Moreover, the rigid set of patriarchal norms in North Korean society “often manifests itself in neglect, deprivation or discriminatory treatment of girls in various settings, including in schools.”[25] If a family cannot afford to send two children to school, the female child will often be the one that stops going to school in favor of her brother continuing to have educational opportunities.


The Effect of Political Practices on Family Life
 
The Songbun System
 
North Korea classifies its citizens according to the songbun system of socio-political classification. Every North Korean has a songbun classification that determines where they can live, what education they have access to, and what jobs are available to them.
 
Songbun is also an important consideration in marriage. A marriage between two individuals of incompatible songbun would not be approved of by society.[26] Additionally, “many sources have reported the importance of songbun in such social institution as marriage” in North Korea.[27] A family can enhance the social standing of their child by arranging a marriage with someone of good songbun.
           
Escapee #2 reports that during and after the Great Famine of the 1990s, the focus shifted from marriages between compatible songbun to marriages that provided economic advantages. Traders, for example, came to be regarded as favorable marriage partners. While songbun is no longer the primary factor in marriage decisions, it still plays a role. Economic opportunities are more readily available for those who are considered loyal to the regime.

Guilt-by-Association
           
In North Korea, if an individual is found guilty of a crime or political offense, up to three generations of their family may be punished due to a system of guilt-by-association. Punishments could include a lower songbun, forced relocation to rural areas, or being sent to a prison camp. Hyeonseo Lee described an instance in which her uncle was arrested and imprisoned:
 
My grandmother then stepped in to protect the family and fixed it so that Aunt Old could divorce her husband and put the three children up for adoption. This way, the family could avoid the guilt by association with a ‘criminal element’ that would degrade their songbun and blight the family for generations. This is a common arrangement when a spouse is imprisoned.[28]
​
These measures may appear drastic, but in North Korea this is one of very few viable options to avoid life-long discrimination.

North Korean families are trapped by the guilt-by-association system. Actions that are necessary for survival, such as smuggling in goods from China to buy food, may be “deterred by the prospect of their entire family paying a terrible price as well – including, perhaps, descendants yet unborn.”[29] This is also why many North Koreans are hesitant to escape the country. If they are caught during an escape attempt, their whole family is at risk. “Not only the defectors but also their family members have been charged with the crime of ‘transgression of the Kim Il-sung/Kim Jong-il Ideology’ and thrown in political prison camps.”[30] For similar reasons, North Korean refugees often remain out of the public eye after they have escaped.


Human Rights Violations Relating to the Family
               
North Korea fails to protect human rights relating to family life. Contrary to Article 23 of the UDHR and Article 11.1 of the ICESCR, it does not ensure the right to a family existence worthy of human dignity, nor does it ensure the right to everyone and every family to an adequate standard of living. The regime also violates Article 12 of the UDHR by forcibly relocating families whose loyalty to the Supreme Leader is in question, and also Article 2.2 of the CRC by assigning songbun at birth and punishing children for the political transgressions of their parents or grandparents.
 
There are also relevant provisions of the CEDAW that North Korea fails to uphold. Article 2(c) calls upon states to establish effective legal protections for women against “any form of discrimination.” Moreover, under Article 10(h), states must give  “access to specific educational information to help ensure the health and well-being of families, including information and advice on family planning.”[31] The authorities ignore reports of domestic violence against women, fail to ensure that young girls have the same access to education as boys, and neglect to provide sex education or adequate information about family planning.


Conclusion

North Korea disregards the promises it has made as a UN member state—as well as the legal obligations it has assumed as a party to the ICESCR, ICCPR, CRC, and CEDAW—by failing to protect the fundamental rights of families and children. Furthermore, social norms in North Korea are influenced by corrupt political practices and chronic economic difficulties. The use of guilt-by-association imposes collective punishment on the family, barring children from access to educational and occupational opportunities. Protecting families must be a priority for civil society organizations and international human rights organizations in ongoing efforts to improve the human rights situation in North Korea.

Abbigail Thacker recently graduated from Brigham Young University with her bachelor's degree in political science and international strategy and diplomacy. She interned for HRNK during the summer of 2023 and continues her human rights advocacy in Utah as she prepares to attend law school this coming fall. 


[1] United Nations, General Assembly, Universal Declaration of Human Rights (Paris,  December 10, 1948). https://www.un.org/en/about-us/universal-declaration-of-human-rights; United Nations General Assembly, International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (December 16, 1966). https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/international-covenant-civil-and-political-rights.
[2] United Nations, General Assembly International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (December 16, 1966). https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/international-covenant-economic-social-and-cultural-rights.
[3] United Nations, General Assembly, Convention on the Rights of the Child (November 20, 1989).  https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/convention-rights-child.
[4] United Nations, General Assembly, International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (December 16, 1966).
[5] Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Socialist Constitution of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (2019). https://www.ncnk.org/sites/default/files/DPRK%20constitution%20%282019%29.pdf.
[6] This interviewee is referred to as “Escapee #1” throughout the article.
[7] This interviewee is referred to as “Escapee #2” throughout the article.
[8] Hyeonseo Lee, The Girl with Seven Names (London: William Collins, 2015), 77.
[9] Ibid., 75.
[10] Ibid., 77.
[11] Hyemin Son, “North Korea Punishes Unwed Couples Who are Living Together,” Radio Free Asia, May 2, 2023. https://www.rfa.org/english/news/korea/commonlaw-05022023104312.html.
[12] Ibid.
[13] Lee, The Girl with Seven Names, 7.
[14] Donald L. Baker, “North Korea” in Worldmark Encyclopedia of Religious Practices, vol. 3 (Thomson Gale, 2006), 163.
[15] Kim Yoo-sung, “Ask a North Korean: What Happens on Your Wedding Day,” The Guardian, August 3, 2015. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/aug/03/north-korean-weddings-kim-il-sung.
[16] Lee, The Girl with Seven Names, 8.
[17] Sanghee Bang, The Battered Wheel of the Revolution (Seoul: Citizens’ Alliance for North Korean Human Rights, 2011), 21. https://www.nkhr.or.kr/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/NKHR-Briefing-Report-No.6-The-Battered-Wheel-of-the-Revolution-2.pdf?ckattempt=1.
[18] Ibid., 23.
[19] Ibid., 27.
[20] UN Human Rights Council, “Report of the Special Rapporteur on the situation of human rights in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea,” UN Doc. A/HRC/52/65, April 3, 2023. https://seoul.ohchr.org/en/node/506.
[21] Lee, The Girl with Seven Names, 9.
[22] Sonia Ryang, Reading North Korea: An Ethnological Inquiry (BRILL, 2020), 204.
[23] Song Hyun-jin, “The Types and Meanings of Maternal Heroes in the North Korean Songun (Military First) Era,” Journal of Peace and Unification 8.1 (2018): 65–107. https://www.dbpia.co.kr/journal/articleDetail?nodeId=NODE08840561.
[24] Lee, The Girl with Seven Names, 36.
[25] Bang, The Battered Wheel of the Revolution, 25.
[26] Robert Collins, Marked for Life: Songbun, North Korea's Social Classification System (Washington, D.C.: Committee for Human Rights in North Korea, 2012), 84.
[27] Helen-Louise Hunter, Kim Il-song’s North Korea (Bloomsbury Publishing, 1999), 8.
[28] Lee, The Girl with Seven Names, 66.
[29] Andrei Lankov, The Real North Korea: Life and Politics in the Failed Stalinist Utopia (Oxford University Press, 2015), 50.
[30] Keumsoon Lee, The Border-crossing North Koreans: Current Situations and Future Prospects (Korea Institute for National Unification, 2006), 71.
[31] United Nations, General Assembly Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (New York, December 18, 1979). https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/convention-elimination-all-forms-discrimination-against-women.